Oh. Hi there ! Everything alright ? Are we still friends and stuff? Oh goody, I was feeling scared for a sec. So listen up, I was in the kitchen having my coffee like I usually do, but only this time I decided to start listening again to music while enjoying my dirty morning habits. You might say this isn’t strange,everyone listens to music and yes, my friend, you are right.I’ve just been so busy I totally forgot about the things that bring me joy. So here I am, easily nodding , and then BOOM, the mighty monologue hits me :
“Write a post on the blog !”
“What? No way, I don’t know what to write about. Nuh-uh.”
“Oh come on. At least go check out the newsfeed.”
“Mkay, I’ll just take a look. Oh, Irevuo, totally forgot about this. I only wrote two posts, why did I ever stop? Oh my, so many likes. Lemme just go through the comment section one more time. ”
Okay so it kinda went like this and then I stopped because I almost shed a tear ( ” LIAR ! ” ) . All that appreciation, all the validation from strangers made me go down memory lane and I only remember two things from my dark times :
1. How miserable I was for more than six months.
2. How happy I was during these six months for at least two hours a day, when I used to write and read all the feedback.
I decided to start writing in order not to die from sadness. Yes, I could be exaggerating right now but trust me, amigo, I wish you zero seconds of that brain masacre I was putting myself through. Or maybe just ten seconds so that you can see the difference between allowing yourself to go through hell or just sacrifice and pretend it’s not real and move on with your day ( It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it, isn’t it ? )
The truth is, I slipped in and forgot I could rescue myself and when I found the writing method, it was already too late for me. Not only I was creeped out by what my brain was inventing, I had to recap all that when I decided to put it on paper. Maybe I was waiting for this rescue to come from all the wrong sources, I forgot I am THE source. As much as it sounds like a cliche, life isn’t always cream and peaches, like someone I know used to tell me. So, in order to enjoy the life, grow your own peaches, man ! Maybe I am a little hypocrite now because I’m having some “cream and peaches” moment and I decided to share my dessert with you, but if I run out of it tomorrow I’ll just come here and make some more.
This is my rescue, the sanity I need lies in here. One shouldn’t wait till hitting rock bottom, it’s like going to a doctor, I suppose, or doing the groceries, we always wait till the very last moment, till we’re sick as hell, till the fridge is empty and you open it only to find some mustard inside and some olives ( or am I the only lazy person who does these things around here ? ).
And because I don’t want to end this post with a self-irony that doesn’t flatter me at all, I shall ( “not pass”, I feel like saying. And ahead I will go now. ) get up and smack your face everytime you feel like insulting your intelligence and believe you’re less worthy than you actually are. And I invite you to do the same in two, three days, when I’ll come here to complain about God knows what. Okay Ioana, you may go now. -_-
P.S. Thank you for you attention and keep it poppin’ !