AUGuri, loved ones

imageknock-knock * ( gently opens the door, terrified of not finding anyone in there ) 

Aaaand that is my way of saying SORRY for not writing in these last few days. I thought I would get unlucky and have at least one rainy day out of five but hey, guess what, nature loves me back and I brought a looooot of emotional baggage  here with me. Where is here ? Y’all find out. So as a part two of my “sowwy”, here come the details.

First of all, I’ve been a bad,bad tourist so I only took a few pics. Ok, fine, just two pics. Ok, maybe it just counts as one ’cause I took pics of the same place. But hey, it speaks for itself, we don’t need no photo album to love this!

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Also, in my defense, I was busy holding the Corona. We all know that requires special attention.

But back to serious stuff ( ahem )

The thing I love the most about the South and this amazing beach is him.

Bari took care of my soul like a good mother, the sun loved every inch of my skin and the wind seemed to move away from my direction as I was clearly happy and enjoying the perfect weather. Great food, amazing people, awesome parties = YAY.

But right now… I am saying hello from Civitavecchia. This time I’m travelling with parents, which is not exactly my cup of tea, but I should be thankful for the existance of the headphones and good music. Seems to be a good month of August so far and it’s not even ending with these events, many more to come and let me tell you this, it might look like I’ve been all lazy ’cause I stopped writing, but it’s been quite the opposite. Sleepless nights followed by morning time at the beach, 1-2-3 Corona aka *stay some more at the beach* and then the usual “come on Barbie, let’s go party”. Alrighty, Ken !

While I’m listening to some funky jazz beats I feel like sharing with you guys everything, leaving no details aside, but that would take me at least one week and then I’m afraid you will literally forget about the girl on the move haha so I’ll just hurry into finishing this post faster ejrhnfdkgvfhyjyhgxf.

You remember how I was complaining about moving to Italy, doing this or that, being miserable and all ?

I feel like that was decades ago, it’s true that good things might come to those who wait, I don’t know if it’s the lack of sleep talking or the heavy summer presence, but I do know I’m enjoying my present like life could end now or in 5 minutes.  I do have some complaints, though…. Italians, your coffees are too damn small ! I need a big old mug of coffee, not a fancy white porcelain thing for dwarves. Anyway, let that be my supreme bad luck and I’ll just learn to live with it !

That being said, chop-chop my friends, go live your lives, don’t stop reading, writing and being happy. Oh, and eating . Yeah, you should also eat once in a while. I’ll come back soon with some fresh updates and if that will happen in the next 12 hours means it rained. So hopefully, I’ll see you all tomorrow.

Keep it poppin’!

Mistaking. More like taking

coelho

They say one should do things that a future self would thank him for.

I couldn’t agree more, but… ( I like big BUTS and I cannot lie, you know I’m all about the details haha) does that mean I should only do stuff that are valuable in the future? I talked about these things in the previous post, but ( you see? I was right ) if life is about repeating things, why shouldn’t I repeat myself ? I’ll do it in a different manner, though. I’m a writer, not a copy-paster. Does that word even exist? Anyway. 

So back to serious… aspects.Should we act based on how our actions reflect on ourselves in the future? I somehow agree with that saying, even if I am not really familiar with the source but I can’t live in the tension of thinking two steps ahead. Just like I can’t live in the past, that’s just a trap of keeping yourself miserable. Yes, sure, we should always do things that one day we’ll benefit of, but mistakes are also beneficial. 

If I never do mistakes, how am I supposed to know what I don’t want to happen ? How will I know what I don’t like if I haven’t experienced soreness ? We can’t go through life suspecting and supposing, we must always know. 

You see, when someone, anyone, hears this saying I am talking about today, rushes into thinking that he must do super good, awesome things. No. Girlfriend, boyfriend, stop right there. You are allowed to make mistakes. This is how you learn, and if you’re not learning from them and still repeating your mistakes, you either hope for things to change one day or you find some comfort in this pattern. And yes, there are psychos out there, like myself, that wouldn’t learn and still repeat a mistake or two, just because they can. And once you start getting the drill of it, the results won’t even affect you that much, you already know what to expect, even if it’s bad bad bad.

But don’t act like me, I’m all messed up. I was just trying to make a point, and the conclusion is that even if I’m not always investing in a future self, I know I’ll be fine tomorrow ’cause I’ll know what to do.You see, no matter who you are or what’s your type, or what kind of person you are, we are always ruled by choices. But we’ve been programmed to resist, everything that can be done with the power of our brain is bearable, otherwise there wouldn’t be a limit somewhere. We know we only use or understand 10 % of our brain and how things work, and that’s for a reason, that is the limit we can face. So play within your limits. Don’t be afraid to fail, you might win big at one point based on that exact same mistake.

That being said, girl on the move’s moving her heart today to the South, where all the magic happens haha. I will try to keep you posted on my existential dilemmas but in the meantime, you fellas keep it real, keep it clear, and more importantly, keep it poppin’ !

 

YES MAN !

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Greetings, loved ones. Or ciao belli, since I’m here and all. I could enable my italian speaking mode with just one hand gesture, but I won’t do that because you can’t see me, so it would be pointless. I will try to be as nice as I can in these few first lines, ’cause what I’m about to say will drive you from hero to 0, but hey, someone’s gotta do it, right? Let me be that someone. But before you start hating me, let me get things straight, I make no exception from whatever’s coming up next, if anything, I am my worst judge and my friends would agree with me on that matter. Shall we, dear ? Alrighty.

You are your enemy. Your one and only enemy. You treat yourself like you’re someone you loathe. Maybe not now, but at some point you did it, or you will do it. And I am right about it, don’t try to work against my words, and you wanna know why ? Because there must be at least one thing in this life that you said NO to, denied it for yourself. And I’m not talking about things that imply boundaries, but the little things that make you go down memory lane, sigh, and say to yourself ” I wonder why I’ve never done that. ” . Three words for you…

… COULDA, WOULDA, SHOULDA.

We are so busy regreting things or making plans, that we neglect our greatest present: the present. It’s like parents fighting over custody, while they’re both busy poitinting out pros and cons, the child stands in the middle,feeling lost. The same with us, while we are living in the past, or thinking about our bright and impossible future, your present state of mind is being tortured. It’s like the limbo of the living things. I’m not saying you should go after whatever’s out there without giving it any thoughts, we must always be careful, but don’t forget that from being careful to being a loser there’s only one step. I believe I have three words for you…

…. START SAYING YES !

You know what ? I said yes to a crazy thing. Insane, I’m telling you. The kind of thing I never thought I’d do, for me or anyone else. I embraced the present, accepted the opportunity and my state of mind changed with the blink of an eye. Of course, I had my doubts at first, but why torture myself with such thoughts, when I can stay positive about it and make the best of it ? I’m happy I said yes, I’m still enjoying it, and I’m thinking about what’s next with excitement. With one simple yes I managed to control my three important selves…

PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE. 

You see, when you accept that something could make you happy, when you are willing to believe more in your twisted little brain, things might amaze you ! You give people advices all the time, but you can’t be your own adviser. You expect others to believe in your wise words but you won’t even listen to a THREE LETTER WORD. If your way of thinking is working for me and helped me a lot when I was troubled, what makes you think it won’t work for you as well ? Doubts are killing us, me, you, them, everyone. Stupid people are not full of doubts, and they’re happy and joyful. Ironic, isn’t it ? I don’t encourage you to act stupid or think like an idiot, I’m just saying that you should give more chances to yourself. Sometimes we need to go with the flow, and one good result could change your past, your future, and make an awesome you in the present. YOU, another three letter word you should be more fond of. So…

… ONE, TWO, THREE, GO !

 

Where there’s smoke…

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Do you remember my friend, the one I was telling you about a few posts ago ? If you don’t, I suggest you check out her insanity here . Like I said before, we are very similar so whenever she’s going through a rough patch, I understand her better than anyone. 

I told my friend that the man she was seeing could be a lesson and I was right. He managed to sum up all the things a woman likes, loves and fears. He’s a contradiction of his own person, very honest yet a big liar. Very modest, yet so confident. So mature, but acting like a child. Very smart, but pretending he doesn’t get you. He was danger disguised as perfection.

Does she hate him? No. 

Would she give him chances after chances, in order to win him on her side? Yes. 

Would she go through all that again, even though she knows what’s in it for her ? Yes.

Is she out of her mind? Absolutely.

I don’t judge, because I’ve made some big mistakes over the years, my closet is full of such things. But I do wonder… Many, many things. And I want to understand, how is it possible to care for someone who cares for you as much as they care for an object in their home, one they use once in a while ? And how is it possible to even care, after such a short time ? Is it because she got rejected ? She doesn’t know, I certainly don’t know, but someone out there must know. Do we really develop feelings for those who don’t care as much as we do ? Is rejection the ultimate aphrodisiac ? 

Maybe some people are in love with the idea of being loved, others fear the idea of being alone. When these two meet… That’s a molotov cocktail you’ve created based on your own thoughts and reactions. And you didn’t just create it, you agreed to set yourself on fire and burn with desire, the impossible desire of having what was not designed to be yours. Cheers to you ! Maybe one day we’ll learn, until is too late. Too late to realize that some wounds  are meant to become scars, and there will be some people in our lives at one point that won’t deserve to stare at our scars while trying to love us for what we are. 

So what’s it gonna be ? Self destruction or self defense ? 

The Art of trying

Beautiful people, here’s my latest one for Irevuo, hope you will enjoy it !

irevuo

art_tryingBefore starting this post, I gathered my little minions and they all knew what they had to do in order to help me write : my coffee was hot, my cigarettes were more than plenty, and my jazz track-list was two hours long. I don’t need two hours to write a post, but I do like to stare at the screen every ten minutes, to enjoy the blank inside my head. I didn’t make this introduction for nothing and the reason for doing it is because I want to open the Pandora box, also known as Inspiration.

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Thank you.

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Good morning, good evening or even good night, but whatever it is make it good. Wow, so much good vibe in my first line, can’t believe it’s actually me writing it. This post is inspired by another blogger, more or less. The thing is, ever since I started counting my blessings instead of my problems, it’s like my problems don’t even bother me that much and they’re not the hustle I thought they were. Today I’m thankful.

My first thank you goes to mother nature. I am a huge fan, girlfriend ! You smell amazing, in fact you are the reason I refuse to sleep with a closed window. I love the way you wake me up in the morning, with that perfume of new day, brand new fresh air brought from all the beautiful places on earth ! At least that’s how I like to imagine it, that I’m breathing the Positano air which travelled especially for me and sat at my window to caress my senses. Don’t even get me started on the smell of rain, especially at night. It’s not much of a lullaby for me, but it sure brings a certain fragrance that I am always anxious to breath in more and more. Another smell that intoxicates my feelings is the smell of books. New, old, doesn’t matter, it’s still a book and it smells like an artificial forest of words, it’s a little piece of nature that you can bring in bed with you.

I also want to thank my eyes. Not because they’re brown and dull, but because they’re big enough to let me capture everything! They help me smile or even laugh, they help me learn or even cry.They feed my curiosity constantly. And even though my sight isn’t perfect, I am so thankful that they work with me every single time, even if I am mean and don’t help them with glasses. I can’t imagine life without seeing curtains blown by wind or the flowers on my terrace dancing around or even the waves making love to the sand beneath them. And for those of you who haven’t seen Rome… Bucket list, now 🙂

But these categories wouldn’t be possible without my brain, isn’t it ? THANK YOU for working in such a way, that I always see beyond things. You help me go so far, that I sometimes even forget to go back. And another thing you showed me is that I don’t need to go back, there’s always left or right ! I can’t help it, I’m feeling blessed, ’cause after all these years of hardcore partying and sleepless nights, you still work at a capacity that sometimes I find it to be more than amazing ! I am sorry I drowned you in negativity, I can tell you are way happier now and all our other functions work better than ever. You help me write, you help me say no and even more often say yes, but that’s not even the point ! No matter what my mistakes are, you always help me get over them, like no best friend could do, you never worked against me, I am the one who worked against you this whole time.  Even if there are fields you never let me explore, I know it’s because you wanted me to bloom in what I like and be the best at it !

I am sure there are many, many other reasons to be thankful for, but these are the main things that help me go through life and find happiness. Sometimes, a sad face is just a smile seen upside down, so if you need to make an effort and twist things around, do it. I don’t mean to sound fake, because you people know better than anyone that I’ve had my rough days, if anything, I hope I will set myself as an example and show you that even the darkest places had a climpse of light once and you can set a fire even with a candle. You just need to know how to use it.

Keep it poppin’ !

Vitamin B

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Yuuuuhuuuuuuu ! Anyone here ? Long absence, my lovely readers, I promise it won’t happen again. I’ve been busy, doing things that everyone does nowadays : writing, looking for happiness in all the wrong places,searching the cure for cancer… The good news is I think I found happiness !

My happiness translates as Vitamin B ! Again, making no sense is part of who I am, so if you don’t understand what I’m saying, I suggest you be a good guy/gal and read this. It might help you understand the twisted brain I am constantly wearing with pride wherever I go.

Because I’m a writer, I had to “dress” my happy thought with a gown, ’cause that’s what we people do all the time, we take a small amount of something and turn it into “everything” .

So back to my Vitamin B. Like my friend likes to say, we only accept the love we think we deserve, but then again, in the end it doesn’t matter what you see in them, but what they will do for you. Oh, my friend… I finally got that right. I am not a person who likes to settle, maybe that’s why I find it very hard when it comes to making a choice. But once you make it and starts filling you up with positivity, you can’t stop choosing. That’s the thing about vitamins… you need them constantly in order to work fine.

Find your missing “something”. Make a choice, go with the instinct. Usually, when we picture something, a moment for instance, it instantly gives us a feeling, let that feeling guide you. When things don’t go right, just go left with them, don’t force what is not meant to happen. If experience taught me something, is that whatever’s meant to be yours, will eventually find a way to become yours.

Keep it poppin’ !

Art is the new black

My last piece ! Check it out, I am sure there are a lot of people agreeing with me on this one 🙂
Keep it poppin’, fellas!

irevuo

art_blackAs promised, here it is, another article about art. In my opinion, art isn’t something to be discussed in a few lines, so I feel like I didn’t make it any justice. The reason I believe so, is because the other day I only managed to establish one of the rules, today I feel like covering another aspect.

We are surrounded by many forms of art ; movies, music, poetry, novels, paintings, whatever floats your boat. Everyone is free to embrace it as they wish but things aren’t going exactly like they used to and I am aware that sounds like a cliche. Unfortunately, it’s true.

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Arting out loud

Happy to announce my collaboration with Irevuo, from now on you can find me here as well ! Enjoy art as much as we do creating it ! And keep it poppin’ !

irevuo

artArt. A simple word, covering all the beautiful aspects in life. Three letters, used to sum up hours of crying, unrecognized feelings and emotions, loneliness or substance abuse. If you are not falling apart, you can’t have the word. Art is not meant to describe your happiness, but to make others happy. One’s misery can easily turn into someone’s rock, if you know how to polish it.

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Yeah, ok… Wait, what? No.

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I am furious. I am so furious,I feel like using all the synonyms in order to explain how furious I am. But I’m probably overreacting, I am a woman after all. So yeah, that being said, I will let you be the judge of it.

” Why so furious ? ”

Well let’s see… We create standards along the years, some of them are fake, just something you want to try, and others are well intentioned ’cause you probably had enough of X and needed to change the pattern, which is perfectly normal, no one likes to walk in circles. On hot stone.

But what if the standard is fake ? That kind of shallow standard, just something you’re convinced you deserve and won’t give up until you achieve that bloody thing. Are you still going to walk on hot stone ? I think you will. Because you obviously think you deserve having IT.

Ok, I will try to explain this so I don’t sound high again but you’re probably used to it by now.

You’re point A. Both B and C want to be your destination, and you’re confused, one’s on the left and one’s on the right. B and C both have ups and downs, and they both sound equally attractive. B has more to offer, it’s closer to you, the road isn’t that tricky… But the perk of accepting the C road is that you’re gonna be happier when getting there. You worked hard for it, isn’t it ? You’re happy you finally made it. These are the offers.

Let’s say you accept point B. It wasn’t much of a thrill, ’cause it was right there, waiting for you to take the first step. It feels great having a destination and it has always been the easy way so you’re going to enjoy that for a while, it’s what we call safe. Yup, safe and happy.

If you go towards C, you’re in for a bumpy ride. The road is long, you can’t see the destination point clearly ’cause it’s so damn far but you’re excited, you don’t know what’s there. So you start making scenarios, you’re happy about it. It feels great having a challenge, doesn’t it ?

Again, I might sound like I am making no sense.

Pick a damn side, human ! Use the insticts, that’s why they are called this way, to help you with making choices. One of the things that makes people unhappy is not choosing at all ! We think too much, we want to go there, then we want to get on the other side, then we get lost.

If you’re asking yourselves why am I so furious, is because I didn’t exactly give you a straight answer. I am one of those folks who will get lost 9/10. I am the person who will always get lost, because I never know what I want. The pattern is right there and I’m still like ” Yeah, I don’t know what to say…. Maybe I should…. Yeah, I should do that or…. Yeah, maybe I will change my mind again. Yeah, I don’t know ”

Yeah,yeah,yeah… No wonder the GPS voice is always a woman’s voice, I’m telling you, I should be THE voice, the mother of all GPS systems, then I will get you all lost and I won’t be feeling stupid all by myself. Damn it, brain. I will make a list starting today.

And just do you know… Applying this A-B-C thing in real life, on different aspects, will always give you a different perspective. It’s only the goal that makes you choose wisely.